Limping With a Broken Leg

On the way to lunch yesterday, Sis commented that I have not blogged here for a while. I responded, “I can’t because I can’t face what’s happening.” The first chemo wasn’t working. One of the tumors in her lung grew over a centimeter in two months. A new tumor grew to the size of a…

I Should Be Writing

I should be writing. I want to be writing. I need to be writing. I am afraid to. Opening to the truth of my fear, to the full reality of the new tumor in her lung that grew from nothing to the size of a lemon in two months, is overwhelming. This whole damn thing…

Charlie

Charlie can’t make it all better. Nothing can ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER make it all better. Well, a miracle could, and maybe just maybe we will get our miracle next week. Maybe the chemo is shrinking the tumor in her lung. Maybe at minimum it is keeping it from growing and spreading. Maybe it’s…

The Gift of an Anxiety Disorder

Living with an anxiety disorder is not easy. I could share lots of stories and examples to demonstrate. Or… you could take a couple seconds to think of that moment when you feared the worst thing in your life would happen, and you needed to try to talk yourself out of the fear. You knew…

Boring Beige

This is my house in Greenfield. Well, it was my house… our house. It is a beautiful Victorian John was refurbishing into a true Victorian showplace. That porch with its hand-turned posts was his pride and joy of the exterior. If you look closely, you can see the beautiful dusty rose, mauve, and cranberry colors…

Hotel Monteleone

Sis is having a pretty hard time dealing with the side effects of last week’s chemotherapy and Neulasta shot. The pain is not well controlled at this point. The nausea and digestive cramping are making Sis sick. The fatigue overwhelms her. To say she is sick doesn’t really express the full truth of her illness….

Day 2,083 and 1,896 – Chemo #2

So a bit of a change in the day number, huh? I realized that tracking the day number from the day the blog started was a HUGE misrepresentation of the reality of cancer in my life, my sister’s life, and my family’s life. As you can see above, we have been living with cancer for…