Sis’s chemotherapy was supposed to start last Friday, June 1. The treatment did not get approved by the insurance company in time. Calls were made and reasons were given for the delay, but I choose not to focus on that. If I did, I would not be able to control the deep-from-my-toes, whole-body rage that someone somewhere screwed up and the life-saving treatment my sister needs to kill the two tumors in her pelvic wall and the one in her lung has been delayed by a week.
Instead I focus on the dance!
One of the biggest reasons I can put my energy into enjoying this extra time with my sister prechemotherapy is because of her strength and resolved calm. When I asked if she was nervous about the delay (I tried not to show her that I was freaking out, but I am sure she knew), she said if delaying the chemo a week means the chemo won’t work, then the chemo isn’t going to work anyway. Something like that. I took a deep breath and decided she was right. I decided, too, that I would put my time and energy into savoring these moments before chemotherapy makes her sick.
We walked the chemo path together almost 4 years ago. Sis endured almost every side effect possible. Each treatment resulted in a trip to the er for those side effects, several of them included hospital stays because the chemo lowered her blood pressure and heart rate to dangerous levels. The new chemo is more aggressive than the last one. It is being realistic to admit she will be very, very sick very soon.
So we enjoy this time as much as possible all the while knowing the cancer continues to grow and her pain increases until chemo starts Friday. A fentanyl patch and percocet tablets every 4 hours usually keep the pain bearable… a 3 or 4 on a scale of 1 to 10.
We relax and enjoy time together by going to lunch A LOT. We love Cheddar’s. Lunch there Monday was delish and pretty healthy. Lunch today was at Flat Top Grill, full of veggies and clean protein. We tried a new Chinese place last Friday. We won’t be going there again.
Because I know that soon the chemo will keep my sister in bed sick, I revel in even the simple, happy times. After lunch today, we went grocery shopping. The automatic carts with seats were all being used, so I pushed Sis in the wheelchair cart. I was quite happy pushing her through the store picking out yummy things to eat and the other things she needed. It might be a while before she is up for that again, so I soaked in the contentedness of the moment.
We have a most excellent plan for tomorrow. You can read about it tomorrow night. 🙂