Day 16 – A Little Chicago Selfcare

After a pretty heavy session with my therapist yesterday fighting the fears I share only with her, I decided I needed time with my sister to regain some balance in this new normal we are all living. Sis isn’t strong enough for lunch out right now, so I brought a veggie filled salad lunch to…

Day 13 – A Day With My Dad

Before my family gets all crazy let me say that yes, he is OUR dad. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister, all older than dirt. Lol. They are not the ones writing this however. I am. And he is MY dad, even if I have to share him sometimes. Today is Father’s Day, of course….

Day 11 – I Can’t Dance Today

Okay… well..  I could, but I don’t want to. So I am not gonna right now! Trigger Alert: This post is full of difficult memories of my husband’s llness and death. I swear if I hear one more person say some bullshit to me like, “Think positive!” I am going to scream. Let me tell…

Day 10 – Port Placement Today

Sitting in the hospital with my sister again. Another procedure. Another way to fight for her health. A port really is a wonderful invention for a person battling cancer. After just one chemo treatment, Sis’s vein is already chemically burned. A port will protect the rest of her veins and help make chemo as smooth…

Day 8 – Resilience

Resilience is one of those words I hate to love. It’s a word full of power and hope and strength. It’s a word that makes me keep moving forward into whatever comes next. It tells me I don’t get to give in to the fatigue and fear, not for very long anyway. As my brother…

Day 7 – Tired Today

All evening my spirit has been screaming for me to write a poem called I Am Tired. It’s a poem about all the things that are so very difficult in my sister’s cancer battle. I can’t yet allow myself to access the depth of emotion necessary to make the poem what it wants to be….

Day 6 – Out and About

48 hours post chemo and Sis was strong enough, and determined enough, to get out of the apartment. This is no small feat considering there is a flight of stairs to go down… and to come back up. After Sis had a long soak in the tub, we slowly made our way out the door…

Day 5 – Yesterday’s Funny

Sitting in the chemo suite yesterday, we watched as a man in his mid 60s was seated next to us. We said hello and struck up a conversation. He was friendly, optimistic, and very talkative. VERY talkative! We learned he is a local politician, and he had much to say about this year’s primary.  He…

Day 4 – Chemo 1

Chemo 1 is successfully behind us. There was a medicine reaction. The nurse stopped it with benadryl and steroids. Sis is safe at home. We are all exhausted. Time to sleep!